SubHuman
by tokiohotellover94
Summary: Hermione hides a dark secret. with only one friend by her side to help her through the horrors she faced. He wont leave her alone, he's constantly watching her, always seems to be at her heels. Very Dark, possibly irredeemable Draco. A take on "If Draco was more heartless" M for rape, NOT GRAPHIC.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone. This was originally a 3shot, but it was pointed out to me time and time again that it had more potential. so i changed it up a bit and it is now a full fledged story. It probably wont exceed 10 chapters. If you like Dramione check out my 'Not A Ragdoll'. it's much happier than this one.

A perspective on 'IF DRACO WAS EVEN MORE HEARTLESS'

Be warned, Rape in this chapter. But NOT graphic.

Disclaimer- i do not own anything Harry potter!

* * *

Hermione was cold, too cold. She leaned over the porcelain tub and turned on the hot water.

'_Hot water cleans faster'_

She grabbed, an innocent looking, red loofah and began to scrub her skin.

_'...If I can just get him off_'

she began to frantically scrub all around her body.

'_if his scent wouldn't linger...'_

she continued vigorously. She frantically made a grab for her bar of soap and lathered it into the loofah, than back to work she went on her body.

'_He's laughing! I can hear him laughing_!'

she started breathing loudly, her chest heaving as she continued scrubbing the loofah against her body.

'_No! NO!_'

she scrubbed at her legs, let out a loud sob and threw the loofah across the bathroom floor.

'_It's not enough!'_

she lathered herself with soap, looking desperately around the bathroom for something rougher, something that would make her feel cleaner.

"It's not enough" she mumbled to herself. Unconsciously she began to run her nails down her arms. desperately wanting to feel clean.

"IT'S NOT ENOUGH" she sobbed loudly and her nails got to work on her body. She cried desperately, tears of complete despair running down her cheeks.

The bathroom door swung open, a frazzled red head running in.

Ginny's eyes hardened at the scene _'She's done it again' _she thought.

"Hermione, Hermione! Please stop!" Ginny ran over to her destroyed friend, angry red marks all over Hermione's body.

"He's laughing! He's laughing!" Hermione cried, holding her hands against her ears.

Ginny grabbed the white towel on the prefect floor bathroom and wrapped it around Hermione, getting the towel wet be damned.

"Get off! Get off me!" Hermione flinched back at Ginny's touch, trying to smack her hands away, not completely aware of who this stranger was touching her.

"Hermione, It's me! It's me, Ginny!"

Hermione looked up at the familiar face and began sobbing louder.

"Oh Hermione" Ginny's voice cracked and she pulled the older girl closer.

"I just want to be clean again, Ginny. I just want to be clean" Hermione whimpered onto her friends shoulder, crying silently.

Ginny easily picked up the weariness in the Girl's voice, she was shaking. Ginny knew it wasn't because the water was cold, as a matter of fact the water was practically scalding.

Ginny reached over and immediately turned off the hot water and instead turned the knob of the cold water.

She let Hermione sit in it for a couple of seconds before speaking again.

"Let's get you out of this tub, alright? We'll talk about this in the dorm" Ginny tried , helping her friend stand from the tub.

Hermione didn't protest, she let her friend help her stand.

"Ginny, I want... I want" Hermione was crying, but she wasn't sobbing anymore.

"I know, Hermione. C'mon lets get you upstairs, alright?" Ginny pulled her friend out and picked up her discarded uniform, tossing the loofah into the tub while she was at it.

Hermione nodded and leaned on the shoulder of her friend.

Ginny tried to hold in her tears all the way upstairs, trying desperately to swallow the hard lump in her throat '_I can't cry. I have to be strong, she needs to have someone strong around_' It was hard being the only one that knew of Hermione's circumstances.

Ginny looked at her friend, it was impossible to not notice the changes in her.

Dark circles under her eyes, Her hair messier than ever, her cheeks were always burning red and her eyes held an ever puff beneath them. She even managed to look thinner than before. _'At least before she looked healthy, I'm not doing a good job in keeping her well_' Ginny desperately wished she could tell her brother, Ron would know what to do. In his own idiotic way,her brother always knew what to do, all her older brothers seemed to know how to make things better.

"Hermione, we're almost there" Ginny assured. Hermione seemed to snap at the sound of her voice.

Hermione turned to face Ginny, and a small smile spread across her face. A broken one, Ginny noted, but a smile none the less.

"I'll never be able to repay you" Hermione fervently informed.

Ginny let out a breath of relief. It had been 2 months now, two full months going on to a third.

The first month was the worst, Hermione had her friends unbelievably worried, she wouldn't speak. She would never spend time with them, she recoiled if anyone made to touch her, she refused to be touched. Ron and Harry had been extremely careful around her, they even tried not to stare at her too long lest she would begin to cry. she would whimper if either Harry or Ron so much as gave her an accidental pat on the back. She was uncomfortable and miserable and in pain, that's all Ron and Harry had been able to deduce and it immediately made them miserable too, except they didn't know the extent of Hermione's pain or what had caused it, so even if they wanted to they couldn't solve it. Especially when she went out of her way to avoid them, to avoid everyone. She would run out of a room at the strangest of times, someone could be in mid sentence, herself included, and she would all of a sudden jump up and practically run away. She was always fidgeting with herself, she always seemed on edge.

Ginny wasn't Ron or Harry, she understood the signs. She even tried to ignore them , desperately wishing it was anything else, but when she had seen a broken Hermione, Ginny realized how unbelievably horrible she had been to try and ignore it.

'_I knew, I knew and I wasn't there for her at her worst'_

"I owe you so much Hermione, you will never be indebted to me" Ginny swore.

"You're wrong, I owe you the world" Hermione's voice cracked, "You saved me Gin, you did. You're there and that helps me more than anything ever could" Hermione began crying again and In turn Ginny did too.

This time Hermione comforted the younger red head "You're so young, Ginny. You're only in your fifth year. And I'm so sorry for putting you through this, I'm so sorry. This is why I owe you the world" Hermione patted the smaller girl's back and released her.

Ginny wiped away her tears "Let's go" she smiled at Hermione, Hermione nodded.

Ginny flopped on her bed in the dorm she now shared with Hermione.

'_She's at least a bit better now_' Ginny comforted herself, as Hermione went to the bathroom to change into her Pajamas.

It was true, Hermione was a lot more open to Harry and Ron, she even let them hug her from time to time, but only if she initiated the contact. It was just that she would sometimes seem to collapse, like she wasn't there. Ginny didn't know exactly how it happened or the extent of the attack, but it must have been absolutely horrible.

'_She says I'm so young because I choose to look after her? but she's young too. No one should ever have to deal with this! No one_'

Ginny knew who had done it, at least it was the only possible person. Ginny tried to be as observant as she could be, when Hermione ran out of a room she knew why. Certain Slytherin's would walk in, she even went as far as missing some lessons during the first month, that was saying more than enough, each lesson she missed she had with Slytherins.

And then she had seen it.

* * *

**Flashback**

Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione were walking to Hogwarts, having an almost good day at Hogsmead, given the circumstances.

Ginny turned to look at Hermione, who had been smiling for most part of the day, as they inched closer to the Castle, she could see that Hermione's steps grew smaller, her face seemed to crumple as they walked closer to the castle.

'_She's reluctant to go in...But Hogwarts is the safest place to be...she knows tha_t'

Ginny was teetering with terrible ideas in her head, ideas she wanted to banish immediately.

"Well, well, well. Weasel, Weaselette, Potty" A voice drawled from behind them. Ginny didn't look at the person, she instead turned to Hermione.

Hermione visible paled, her quick breathing was visible in the very air, as little white puffs quickly came out of her mouth. It was freezing today. To Ginny, Hermione looked positively terrified.

It gripped at the red head. '_It just can't be_'

And than he spoke again "Oh, and what's this? Ah, Little Mudblood Gr-an-ger" he slowly purred her name, it made even Ginny shiver.

Hermione began slightly shaking.

"_L-let's g-go_" she stuttered out, grabbing Ginny by the wrist almost forcibly.

"No, No. that will simply not do" Malfoy smirked, he made to grab Hermione.

Hermione's reaction was immediate, she recoiled, jumping back so hard that she fell backwards.

She landed on the floor and she broke, right there.

"AW, C'mon now. My filthy little Mudblood and I can have a bit of fun" Malfoy growled.

Ginny looked up at him appalled '_This just, it can't. It's impossible_'

But everything seemed frozen, Ginny assessed everything. She saw Harry and Ron's disbelieving faces, shocked that Hermione wasn't being the spitfire they knew, seeing her fall back into the ground instead of defending herself from Malfoy.

She took in Malfoy's gaze, looking down at Hermione with darkened eyes, lecherous, dark intent clear in his stormy gray orbs.

She took in Hermione's wild eyes, looking for all the world like a caged animal, like she wanted to run, like she wanted to hide. Hermione's golden specked brown eyes were wide, and positively hollow, and all the same terrified. She looked …. broken.

Ginny let one hot tear run down her own cheek, just one, before she quickly wiped it away, it had took a few thorny seconds to asses and finally confirm everything.

"C'mon Granger, we've had our share of fun times before, haven't we?" Malfoy chuckled, his words were meant to hurt. He bent down and grazed Hermione's cheek, only to have Ginny slap his hand away.

"Don't" Ginny hissed. Hermione's eyes glazed over and she began to cry, she sobbed putting her face in her hands.

"No, don't touch me! No" she whimpered.

_'Broken. Broken. Broken_' it repeated through Ginny's head like a broken record.

"What the fuck did you do to her?!" Harry demanded.

"You made her cry, you bloody bastard! You made her cry!" Ron roared and lunged at Malfoy.

'_If she were fine, she would interfere. If she weren't like this, she would stop the figh_t' Ginny thought, it was fact. She grabbed Hermione, said girl flinched and looked up, she looked at Ginny.

"I'm here, Hermione. It's only me. Let's go" Ginny tried to seem normal, Ginny tried to make sure she didn't cry.

Hermione shot up like a bullet and without turning back she booked it, Ginny went after her.

She didn't even try to stop Harry and Ron from beating, Malfoy to a bloody pulp, or whatever it was they would do to him, quite literally she left him to the wolves, and he deserved it.

'_No he deserves worse, so much worse!_'

She found Hermione in her common room, curled up on the empty couch, in the empty room, everyone was still at Hogsmead.

"Hermione?" She gently tried. All she got in return were broken sobs.

She rushed to her friend and like that, she hugged her, and Hermione allowed it.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm so sorry" Ginny cried, almost crushing her friend in her arms.

From that day on it was quite clear to Ginny, that Hermione had been...Taken . . and by Draco Malfoy.

**_END FLASH BACK_**

* * *

"Hey, Ginny. Sorry, for...you know...down stairs" Hermione emerged from the bathroom.

"Don't be. although, I wish we had our own shower in here" Ginny tried to giggle.

Hermione gave her a smile, she was really taking a toll on Ginny.

"Let's sleep, we wouldn't want to be late for class!" Hermione half way scolded.

Ginny positively beamed over hearing Hermione talk like her old self "No, we wouldn't want that! Night, Hermione"

Hermione didn't immediately fall asleep.

It was so hard to get a decent rest. But her lids grew heavy and she caved.

* * *

_FlashBack_

Hermione was sitting by the lake, where the squid rested, it wouldn't hurt her, she was sure of that.

She even dipped her bare feet in the water, it felt so nice, regardless of how cold everything else was. This lake always had an enchantment, it would be cold during hot seasons and warm during colder seasons.

She loved the title of prefect, she could wander around at whatever time and she didn't even need to use Harry's invisibility cloak, of course she would almost always follow the rules. It was just on nights like these, when the stars couldn't shine brighter, when the moon couldn't be fuller, she just had to make an exception.

So she enjoyed the view and took a deep breath of the air around her, it was Friday, and while most were off being wild and leaving their responsibilities for later, she was freed from the nagging responsibility of having work over the weekend. She had already done all her assignments and then some.

She felt the beautiful liberty to just enjoy her night as she pleased.

And than she heard shuffling behind her, she instantly turned and found that it was a student. She could reprimand them, but it would be hypocritical. She might be a prefect, but she wasn't exactly abiding by the rules, besides mostly first years were under her control, this person seemed a lot older than a first year.

Whatever, as long as they didn't bother her, she really didn't mind.

She looked up at the sky, wishing she had her favorite Muggle device, a music player, so she could listen to music and really be consumed by the night.

It was a terrible chill down her back that made her turn again.

The person was still there, looking at her, observing her. This time Hermione decided she did mind this student and it was getting late, be best she head off to bed now.

She stood and grabbed for her shoes, and began to walk.

'_It's a boy...'_ she assessed as she tried to make it past him.

Then his hand wrapped around her wrist and yanked her closer.

Hermione instantly panicked, reprimanding herself for not bringing her wand, she didn't think she'd need it, she was at the supposed safest place to be; Hogwarts!

"Don't make me take points from your house for more than being out past curfew" she warned, aware that this person...this boy wasn't letting go.

"Ah, it's you, is it Granger?" The person drawled.

"Malfoy?" She questioned, cursing herself for not noticing sooner, it was only Malfoy. She almost let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, if it isn't the filthy little Mudblood" He slurred.

'_He slurred._..' Hermione thought hard.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked, a bit of concern in her voice. After all, she was to protect All houses, and that job went beyond any bias.

"Oh, me? I'm peachy Mudblood. Never better" He slurred again, but this time he pulled Hermione closer, and while He spoke she instantly picked up on what it was.

'_Of course! And it's Friday night after all..._'

"Drinking isn't allowed, much less fire whiskey" she scolded, smelling the distinct scent she had once picked up from the Durmstrang instructor when she had been on an errand with Krum two years prior.

"Oh? And what do I care?" Malfoy hissed, his grip on her wrist tightening painfully.

"I wont take points, alright?! Now get off me, I have things to take care of" she said irritably, trying to take her wrist from his hand.

She wasn't afraid, not even now, but she was annoyed.

"You know what I think of you, Mudblood?" He growled, pulling her closer.

"I don't care. I'm sure I have an idea, as you don't really try to hide it, do you? But, honestly, I don't care. Now do you mind?" She growled, shoving him a bit this time.

"You're not human. All Mudbloods, you aren't Human. And you're trying to take what's rightfully mine! Mud blood runs through your veins and I can't wait to be rid of every single one of you! Especially you! I hope it's me that gets to snap your scrawny little neck" He viciously snarled, pulling Hermione even closer, his breath hot against her cheek.

Malfoy's words stung, so deep. However, this wasn't news to her, she knew exactly that he felt this way about her and all Muggle-borns. She just didn't know he wished to kill her, she thought she might have even been an exception to that rule, for he actually knew her if only just a slight bit, for 6 years!

"I know Malfoy. Now please, just get off me. I'm rather tired and I have-"

"I don't care! You stupid filthy Mudblood, I don't care what you feel" He pulled her closer and let go of her wrist, he ran his hands to her shoulders and shook her "I don't care!" he shook her again.

"You prat! You're giving me a headache!" She hissed, trying to push him away,

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me" He viciously snarled, this time pushing her against a tree.

"You are a subhuman! That's what you are, a subhuman! And you know what? No one cares what happens to subhumans!" He let go of one of her arms but still held a tight grip on another and he began to tow her into the forest.

'_Subhuman_...' Hermione tried her best not to cry, that's what he thought of her and she was aware, but still...it hurt to know how deep his hate went. She wasn't even human in his eyes.

"Where are you taking me?" She demanded, gathering her wits about her, as he was certainly taking her deeper into the forest.

"I'm going to show you what proud Death eaters do to subhumans" he said.

Hermione really cursed herself for not bringing her wand, however she wasn't about to be intimidated, and by Malfoy no less.

"And what exactly is that? Are you going to kill me?" She snorted, she knew she should be careful, since she had no means of defending herself, although she knew she could throw a wicked punch if she wanted to, he knew too.

"I don't know yet" He snarled.

He stopped in the middle of some trees.

He looked her up and down and than he got the most malicious sneer she had seen in her life.

"You know, as far as Mudbloods go, you aren't that bad looking" he chuckled darkly. "If you're real good, after we kill most of you lot, I might take you in as a personal slave or something" He pulled her closer.

Hermione tried her hardest to pull away "Draco, you're drunk and you aren't thinking straight, we should just forget this and I wont even -"

Hermione had begun to strike a deal, because he had actually managed to scare her. It was his insinuations, the way he said it, it reminded her of the men her mother told her to steer clear from. They were never good...

"Don't use my name. I'll snap your neck where you stand. And don't fucking patronize me, I drank, yes. That doesn't mean I'm drunk! who are you to insinuate, you lowly piece of trash? No, you're worse than trash,you're a Mudblood. A disgusting" He shoved her back, and sent her stumbling to keep her balance.

"Filthy" he murmured, shoving her back again, this time his hands rested on her shoulders for a slight moment before he sent her stumbling again. There was an almost amazed look in his eyes.

"Mudblood." This time he rammed into her, her back hitting the tree trunk behind her with a painful force.

She hissed in pain.

"But you know something else?" He pressed his body against hers.

"You're really warm. And isn't it very cold today?" He murmured, pressing his lips against the skin of her ear.

Hermione felt shivers go down her back, shivers of pure and utter fear, terror.

"Malfoy! We have to go! It's way past curfew, and really, you're drunk! You wouldn't be saying any of this if you weren't" Hermione tried to talk some sense into him.

"Don't!" He growled, his hand slowly going up her chest to her collar bone and finally wrapping around her neck. "Don't tell me what I Think, or what I should or shouldn't be saying! Who do you think you are?!" His hand tightened around her neck just slightly, but it was enough to send Hermione into an adrenaline induced state; anything to get away from this pure blood maniac.

"You're psychotic! Remove your hand from me or I'll be forced to hurt you" She threatened, hoping he'd at least think she'd been smart enough to bring her wand.

He chuckled darkly "And what exactly are you going to do? Ah, do you have your wand? I really should search, shouldn't I?" He grinned.

Hermione didn't realize what he meant until his hand parted her cloak and started running along her body. His hands were so cold.

"Hey! Hey! Snap out of it Malfoy!" She hissed, sending a fist at his chest.

"You dared touch me after I told you not to?" He growled, shoving her into the tree.

"You're touching me!" She accused, as both his hands were now inside her cloak and traveling the hem of her skirt.

"I'm searching for your wand" he whispered, smirking at her, as his hands snaked behind her and squeezed her behind.

"I'm going to yell! And after that, I'm going to kill you!" she knew the panic was more than apparent in her voice.

"HEEEEYY!" she yelled, hoping beyond hope someone was out disregarding school rules, or Maybe Hagrid, who didn't live so far from the forest.

Malfoy smirked, wand in his hand.

"Silencio" he hissed pointing it at her. Hermione's eyes widened.

"Can't scream now, can we?" He growled, pulling her by the hips closer to him.

"Like I was saying, you're certainly...enticing...for a Mudblood, I never noticed" he proceeded to fight her cloak off her,

"You certainly are even more so...when you can't speak. Yes, you will certainly be my slave. And be a good girl, you might as well start now" he pet her hair.

Hermione could almost see the sadistic pleasure in his eyes.

She shook her head no, and she pounded at his chest, as he tried to unbutton her blouse.

"We can't have that now! I said be good pet!" He hissed, snatching her hands and pressing them against each other

"Alligant" he growled,

Hermione's eyes widened, she understood Latin a bit. She understood the spell he had just used on her.

'_Alligant means...Bind! What's he going to do to me_?!' she thought, frantically opening her mouth to ask just that, but finding no sound to come out. '_I can't speak_' she tried to hit him, but found she couldn't move her hands properly, like an invisible string was tied around them '_I can't mov_e...' she was terrified now.

Hermione shook her head', No, pleadingly.

He only nodded and than she saw the glint in his eyes. A glint of no regret, of no conscious, no pity, he really thought her less than Human.

Hermione moved around, flinching and trying to pull back as best she could when he advanced on her, but the tree behind her and his body in front of her forbid her from moving.

_'He smells like...Fire whiskey'_

She was crying, she felt the hot tears roll down her face in big messy wet drops.

She kept shaking her head no, it was unbearable to not make a noise, everything seemed to get stuck in her throat, she felt unable to breath.

He was smothering her, pinning her against the tree behind her.

'_I can't breath! Please! Please! I can't breath_' she wanted to yell.

He laughed, right against her ear. "You're mine now...forever" he swore '"Don't worry, I'll try my best to make your life the living hell the rest of the Mudbloods will be suffering when we're through with them"

He ripped at her clothes, he pulled her skirt up and beyond her hips.

_'No! NO! NO!_' she shook her head, she tried to catch his eyes, to make him look at her, to make him see that she wasn't Subhuman, that she could feel this. That he was hurting her.

And then she was tired of trying to plead with her eyes, she struck him with her legs, making clear contact with his shin. He looked up at her and she shook her head, begging with her eyes.

_'Don't do this! You're redeemable! You're suppose to be redeemable!_' she wanted to yell, that she believed in him to the skies. That the boy she knew for 6 years couldn't be this bad! He wasn't supposed to be!

His eyes flashed dangerously in the moonlight, he lifted a quick hand and struck her across the face.

"I never hit a lady. But, well...you're really not, are you?" he answered, taking off his cloak.

"It's really cold, do you feel it? Don't you want to warm up your future master?" he purred, once again pinning her against the tree, except this time his hips crushed hers, slowly grinding into her.

Hermione felt nothing but repulsion, she wanted to throw up.

She began to shake her head no again. Desperately, she wanted to get way desperately.

"Oh, C'mon, we can have some fun. I promise, just be a good girl" he slowly ran a hand down her hip to her thigh and pulled it up, pinning closer to her against the tree, her thigh now forcibly attached against his hip.

"Don't look at me like that. It'll be fun. I promise" His hand went down to his pants.

_'NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME_!' Hermione's thoughts were frantic, her heart was hammering so hard against her chest it hurt.

She shook her had, she kicked out at him, she squirmed relentlessly.

"Will you stop! It's not like you have much of a choice now, is it? Your kind Don't get to have choices" he informed, jabbing a finger deep into her throat.

"You just be happy I'm willing to tarnish myself for a night with the likes of you. Father always said there were few uses for you...creatures. This is one of the very few" He whispered, his lips moving roughly against her throat. He bit down on her skin, and Hermione would have yelled at the pain if she could. She could feel her hot blood as it made its way down from her neck, to her collar bone and further.

"This is fucking vile, Hm, who knew? it's red...like mine. Oh, but the differences, oh the differences" He laughed humorlessly and than Hermione faded out. She became detached, she felt everything. Everything and at the same time she felt nothing.

She felt the pain, but the emotion wouldn't come, not until much later, after she fought tooth and nail when he tried to enter her, she had bruises on her back, she could feel them, the tree had dug into her skin. And then another fight as he tried to wrestle her to the forest ground to finally get what he wanted, her hands were numb underneath her, he had laid her on her stomach "I don't want to see your face" he had said. Her nails bled from digging into the Earth, when the pain was too much to bare, she focused on that.

_'He's so cold. He's so cold. He's cold blooded, he's so cold_' those were the only thought she had. Those were the only ones she could remember.

Hermione could see the beginnings of the sunrise, he had kept her out all night. She had suffered his torture all night. She wondered why no one had come looking for her.

Hermione could still feel him, on top of her. His naked skin was hot against hers, it was the only warmth that she had in the frigid morning. She rather die of hypothermia than have _his_ warmth, warmth he had stolen from her.

She knew he was awake, his hands were already touching her. she could feel his tongue licking the nape of her neck. One hand was traveling between her thighs, daring to dig into the already raw skin. The hand wandered down her back side. she fought the urge to wretch.

"This was fun, as I promised. Maybe you might get lucky again" He laughed, getting up and straightening his pants.

He bent down, let his eyes graze up and down her body "I knew you'd be a virgin. Saint Granger, you don't know how good it feels to own it, to own you"

"And for fucks sake, have some decency" He growled, pulling down her skirt and throwing her cloak over her.

After, he deemed it Okay to just leave her in the forest ground, only unbinding her and taking away the silencing charm.

When he left, Hermione couldn't tell how long she spent on the ground. But as soon as she sat up, she felt an aching pain between her legs, she looked down and saw that blood seeped down her legs, past her knee, down her calves, the sight had her hyperventilating. And than she screamed, she screamed as loud, as hard, as long as she could until her lungs hurt. She took a deep breath and screamed again, and again. It wasn't enough, the pain, the emptiness, it lingered.

She could smell it on her, the fire whiskey, and she screamed again. Rain started pouring down on Hogwarts grounds. If she didn't know it was almost impossible, If she could even think properly or at all, she would have thought it was her current sorrow that caused the rain. Usually when someone felt strongly, it was a little cloud above their head. But this, this covered the whole grounds.

And than she began to cry, not for the last time in a very long time. She cried, she cried hard and painful and she couldn't hear herself. She couldn't feel herself! She was empty so empty. The sorrow, however, she could do without, as that was causing the tears to fall from her eyes. She couldn't stand, she couldn't take this. But she held on to herself, she wrapped her arms around herself, because if she stood, she would walk the ten feet to the lake and than in it. And she would make it count.

But she couldn't she had promises to keep.

'_I'm strong...I think I'm strong'_

And than the emptiness slipped her, and a hard pang went through her.

'_Mom! Mom! I want my mom!' _she wasn't aware of how broken her own thoughts were.

'_MOM! I WANT MY MOM! I WANT MY MOM_' she cried into her knees.

_'I WANT MY MOM!'_ she clutched at her skirt and recoiled from how it felt, he had grabbed it like that too. She wrapped her arms around herself and realized it made her nauseous. She was nauseous just touching herself.

There was a lump in her throat, and she wretched, except her stomach was empty, there was nothing. Nothing came out.

'_Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me! DON'T TOUCH ME_'

Hermione didn't know what to do. She didn't even have the mind to work out that she was sitting in the forest, in the rain.

A hand slapped onto her shoulder from behind.

**_END FLASHBACK_**

* * *

"DONT TOUCH ME!" Hermione cried into the darkness, her eyes flying open.

"Hermione!" Ginny cried in surprise.

Hermione sat up, trying to control her shaking.

"It was a dream, nothing but a dream" She said, loud enough for Ginny to hear, but she was comforting herself.

"Hermione, it's 6:00, I wont be going back to sleep, time to get ready, alright?" Ginny said calmly.

Hermione nodded and got out of bed.

'_It was a dream. It was a dream...except it wasn't...it was a memory'_

Hermione held in her sob, she couldn't keep burdening Ginny like this, she was too young, too innocent to be taking the brunt of Hermione's issues.

Today would be like all the other days, she would laugh without feeling. She would talk from pure knowledge. But she wouldn't feel, she couldn't feel. All she ever felt was fear, terror. An edgy need to watch everyone around her, lest they might reach out for her and touch her.

'_The last time I turned around, without being afraid, without fear of consequence because of who might be behind me, I saw him. That's the last time I ever felt safe. He was behind me'_

_'I thought I was strong enough...'_

She had been wrong, so wrong. She wasn't strong to deal with what would be coming after this, she didn't know.

* * *

i was taking a psychology class, and so many things i didn't know about a situation, like this Hermione's, arose. Being raped by someone who is familiar to you, who you see on a day to day basis, it's harder to put an end to it.

i know it's a very sensitive subject, i will NOT try to put any sort of redemption to this Draco, because there is none.

Leave a review and tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the second chapter. i changed this one alot from the last one, i hope you guys like it. it's very hard and intimidating to write.

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry potter!

* * *

Ginny stared at Hermione as they made their way out of their dorm.

To everyone else, she seemed perfectly fine, if not just a bit exhausted.

_'She always looks tired'_

"Morning Gin" Harry and Ron walked out behind them.

"Hey, Hermione" Harry said cautiously, stepping arms length from Hermione, this had become custom. Never get closer than arms length.

"Good Morning Guys" Hermione smiled, trying her best to look content.

Ron slowly shook his head "One of these days, Hermione, you're going to tell us everything" He smiled bitterly, Ron had stopped trying to hide his displeasure at Hermione's distress.

Hermione visibly stiffened at his words.

"And you, Ginny, are going to stop keeping things from your brother" He warned.

Ginny gnawed at her bottom lip, she wanted to tell, Hermione needed them more than ever, she needed all her friends. But Ginny didn't want to break Hermione's trust, she just really wanted to help. _'And I'm all she has'_ Ginny thought.

Harry stared at Hermione pleadingly, he wanted her to speak too. Her silent sorrow affected him too, he didn't like it.

"Enough of that, lets go eat, I'm starving!" Ron laughed, letting the tension go.

* * *

Hermione's stomach churned, she wanted to speak, but at the same time she didn't.

'_He'll hurt them! I can't put them in danger...and...he might hurt me again'_

Hermione knew her thoughts were selfish, it made her nauseous, everything made her nauseous.

Ron was recounting to Harry and pretty much the whole Gryffindor table his quidditch practice, apparently it was supposed to be funny, the whole Gryffindor table roared to life with laughter.

The sound panicked Hermione, she tried to calm herself down by clenching her fists. She even faked a laugh, she had heard every word Ron spoke and she didn't feel a thing. His story wasn't amusing, he had nearly broke his neck falling from his broom, it wasn't comical, it didn't make her want to laugh.

But it also didn't worry her, and it should! It should scare her that one of her friends was so close to death, she should feel an appreciation to whatever deity looked upon him and sent a speedy Harry to the rescue. And she most certainly was, but she didn't _feel_ it.

_'I'm not human. HE was right. I can't feel anything. I can't feel anything'_

Hermione tried to calm the hyperventilating, making her chest heave. She chewed on a loaf of bread, fighting the urge to spit it out and break into tears.

_'I can't do this, I can't do this'_

The Gryffindor's were still laughing loudly. Hermione felt sirens in her ear, the feeling was tightening her throat, making her eyes water.

'_They're so loud. So loud'_

The Gryffindor laughs died down in her ears, and she could only hear one. Just one laugh, one cruel, malicious laugh, and it wasn't Gryffindor.

_'He's here! He's here!' _

Hermione's bottom lip started trembling. She heard it, it was like he was right next to her, laughing right into her ear.

Hermione tried to unnoticed put a hand up to her ear.

The laughing got louder. 'I_ can feel him, I can feel his breath on me..._' forgetting about everyone around her, she put both hands up to her ears, recoiling from the imaginary person breathing on her.

_'I don't want to hear him! I don't want to hear him!'_

He was in her head, his laugh rang through her ears, like he was climbing through them, traveling to appear inside her very skull.

Her sense of smell was attacked next. '_I can smell ...fire whiskey...'_

With Her hands still to her ears, Hermione began to cry, shutting her eyes as tight as she could.

_'We can have fun...I promise'_ it was a venomous whisper in her mind.

She began to sob loudly, forgetting the world around her. "No, No. I can't speak! I can't move!" she cried, shaking her head. Her whole body trembling.

The Gryffindor's stared at her perturbed.

Hermione didn't notice them, she was shaking, she was sobbing, her hands were pressed against her ears, eyes shut tight, even so the tears still poured out. But she wasn't there. She was sitting in a cold wet forest, alone.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

"No, No. No, No, No" She whimpered softly, rocking herself back and forth.

A hand landed on her shoulder.

"NO! NO! GET OFF ME" Hermione let out in blood curdling shrieks, scampering away from whoever touched her.

"Granger? Merlin! What happened to you?!" Hermione heard a voice behind her.

"No! Don't hurt me, don't hurt me!"

"No one is going to hurt you! It's me, Theodore Nott, we have a couple of classes together" Theodore scrutinized the girl in front of him. He looked her over and almost puked, her situation becoming apparent.

"Who did this to you? Who hurt you?" he hissed, enraged at how disgusting, vile and cruel some people could be.

Hermione didn't look up at him, she was trembling and looking around her surrounding for an escape.

"Look at me" Theodore ordered, looking down at her intensely.

Hermione quickly shook her head, making crying sounds in the back of her throat.

"Alright, don't look at me. But I'm going to help you, don't be afraid, alright? Don't be afraid" it was an order.

Hermione finally looked up, the Slytherin boy was going to help her stand. Her eyes widened like saucers "No! No! Don't touch me" she cried "Please, please don't touch me" she sounded like a child, pleading, desperate.

"Granger, let me help you! I have to take you to the Headmaster! Whoever did this to you is going to be in big trouble, they wont make it out alive!" He growled, trying his best to stay calm, he didn't want to scare the already distraught girl in front of him.

Hermione's eyes were glazed over but she shook her head "No. I don't want to tell" her voice cracked.

"You have to tell!"

"No, don't. I can't" she whimpered, grabbing at the ground under her, and flinching, as her own fingers were sore.

Theodore looked down at her, how could someone do this to another human being? How could anyone lack so much compassion.

"If you let me help you, I wont tell" he compromised, this girl clearly needed a lot of help.

"Help me?" She asked, but Theodore took It as an agreement.

He never felt so wrong from using a simple spell.

"Scourgify" He whispered, watching as her clothes were straightened out mended back together. As the dirt lifted of her face, body and clothes. And how the blood disappeared from her nails and legs.

She still had visible bruises on her legs, her hands were still hurt, and he couldn't take away any of her pain, physical or otherwise even if he wanted to.

"Granger, do you still need my help?" He asked.

She shook her head 'No'.

"Can I get you back to the castle, safely?" He offered

She looked up at him, he saw as her bottom lip trembled, she slowly nodded.

He took her as far into the Gryffindor corridors as he dared, it was early in the morning and he didn't want to rouse suspicion, not against her wishes.

"Who was it?" He inquired before he let her go.

"I don't know" she whispered.

"You do" he said aggravated "And you can trust me. But even if you feel like you can't,I'll be watching over you. They wont hurt you like this again, alright?" He stated fervently.

"Why? I'm only subhuman?" She whispered, twiddling with her fingers, she didn't mean to say it, it just slipped.

He looked at her shocked "What did you call yourself?" He growled.

She took a quick step back from him, he really tried not to be aggravated at her. He couldn't be, he could never even begin to grasp at her situation.

"Look, I'm here. I wont hurt you, but you're going to tell me, or someone! Anyone! I know you cant confide in me, you don't know me! But tell me, you'll talk to someone!"

She looked at him and nodded.

"Are you gong to be alright?" He asked, he knew the question was stupid, how could she be alright? how could anyone be alright after something like this?

He wasn't shocked when she nodded and walked to her house portrait.

"I'm watching you, Hermione Granger" He whispered. He was quite suspicious, she had called herself, Subhuman. Theodore Nott was not stupid, he had deduced quite a few things.

_'He has to be a Pure-blood. Probably a Slytherin, Pure-blood, who hates Muggle-borns_' There really were quite a few candidates, but he had his top three. And he didn't need that, because he was almost sure he knew who it was

* * *

.

**END FLASHBACK.**

"No, no, no" Hermione whimpered, unaware of all the stares she was getting as she bawled her eyes out, tears of complete dismay running down her face.

"She's hurting" Harry shot up from his seat, Ron right behind him.

"Hermione, Hermione?" Ron asked, hesitant to reach out to her.

Harry wasn't, "Move" he pushed away Lavender, who was sitting next to Hermione looking disturbed, and took her seat.

He cupped Hermione's face, her eyes flew open.

"No! Don't touch me" She let out, breathless.

"It's me Hermione, it's Harry. I'm here, I'm here" He whispered, pulling her closer.

Hermione looked into his familiar green eyes, and launched herself into his warm embrace.

"Help me, please" She moaned helpless, Harry could feel the tears soak through his sweater.

"With anything, Hermione. With anything" he immediately swore, setting no restrictions to his best friend that hadn't been herself in a long time.

Hermione shook in his arms.

"What is it Hermione? Please tell us. Look at me, it's me! It's Ron" Ron's voice seemed to crack, he took Hermione's hand in his, and for once in a long time she didn't immediately snatch it away.

"I was- I was" she then looked around her, everyone was watching them, even different houses.

Like a rubber band, she pulled back into herself, almost stung at the way she closed off again.

"You were what?" Harry hissed, clutching her tighter in his arms.

"Not here, not now" Hermione said, wiping away her tears. She looked down the Gryffindor table, trying to spot Ginny, she wasn't there.

Harry and Ron looked at her mystified, she was crying just seconds ago, completely broken down. Now she seemed almost normal, composed, her eyes however, were always lacking their usual luster.

"I don't understand you Hermione. You need us, let us help you" Harry insisted.

Hermione pulled away from him.

"There is something clearly wrong with you, I can see it in your eyes, don't hide from us. Trust us, we're your friends" Ron said.

"I can't...right now. Will you wait for me?" Hermione asked, afraid of the answer.

"Of course! We're here when you're ready"

"But please let it be soon" Ron added "Because you worry us"

Hermione gave them her most convincing smile, tried to control her face as she noticed everyone was still staring at them, she quickly got up.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked.

"To find Ginny" she quickly responded and briskly made her way out of the dining hall, fighting the urge to run as fast as she could.

As soon as she was out of the dining hall she ran. She ran to the library, it was usually empty, except for Madam Prince, and that's what made it safe.

She took 3 deep breaths, trying to control herself before she want in. she leaned her cheek against one of the cold stone walls, letting it cool her down. She closed her eyes, she felt something she hadn't felt in a long time, she felt peace. She leaned her body on the wall, feeling a tiredness wash over her.

"Why, isn't this familiar?" She heard behind her.

She gulped, and tried to control her hyperventilating. '_I need to get away'_ she thought frantically, pushing away from the wall.

But before she turned to leave, she was being crushed.

"I think I missed you" He whispered softly in her ear.

Hermione felt mute, she couldn't say a thing. But inside her head she was screaming, yelling, praying for help.

She felt him, as he pressed his chest into her back.

Her heart started to beat wildly, she was scared. So scared.

"What was with the show? Hm? Thinking of me, were we?" He chuckled darkly in her ear, nipping at her lobe.

Hermione's face crumpled, she began to cry again, her salty tears stung her raw cheeks.

"I love it when you cry" He said, gripping at her hips and pulling her behind into his crotch

Hermione shook her head. '_Not again! Not again! Not again! NOT AGAIN!'_

"Do you want to have fun again? I feel like I didn't get to enjoy you enough last time, come pet" he murmured, kissing down her neck.

'_ Get him away! Get him away!_'

"No!" She breathed, "No, get off me" she spoke, terrified, but also empowered, she had her wand this time.

"Who do you think you are?" he hissed, turning her around to glare at her.

He grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back so he could stare down at her.

Anger overwhelmed her _'I can't and I wont be scared anymore!'_

"Who do you think you are? Let go of me!" She demanded.

"you insolent Mudblood!" He shoved her against the stone wall.

"No! You're nothing!" She tried shoving him, she couldn't move him. It reminded her all too much of that night. She felt the fight want to drain out of her, as she was reminded how he physically overpowered her.

"Don't touch me! We've been through this before, haven't we? Want to go over the lesson again?" he asked, a smirk spreading across his face.

Hermione went rigid, and instantly shook her head no.

"Yes, I think we will. You'll enjoy it, no worries. Last time was fun, wasn't it?"

Hermione couldn't speak, she was trapped between the wall and Malfoy, it came back to her in flashes, the last time she was in a situation like this. The moment he had stolen the night from her.

"NO! NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH ME" She shrieked at him, she began to pound her fists on his chest.

Draco raised a shocked eyebrow.

"What's the matter with you? Shut the hell up!" He snarled, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Get your hands off me! Get your hands off me" the hysteria was more than apparent in her voice.

Draco looked at the girl he held and smirked "This isn't because of, lil' ol me, is it?"

she tried to pull away, trying to twist away from him.

He pushed her further into the stone wall behind her, pressing himself against her, wanting to feel every single line of her body against his.

"Granger, Granger, Granger, you're really fucked up, aren't you?" He laughed, pressing his lips to her ear.

"No worries, I'll take you in anyway. You're certainly...entertaining" His lips ran down her ear to her jaw.

"I lied, just so you know" he murmured, continuing his decent, letting his lips trail the soft skin of her jaw line. The girl was violently trembling in his arms, almost in shock.

He pressed himself harder against her "I knew you were enticing, even before that night we shared. It's your fault, you should know better than enticing someone like me...you'll pay for that. You filthy little Mudblood" He hissed venomously, biting down on the soft flesh of her collar bone.

Hermione groaned at the memory pain in her, as he had bitten the exact same spot and made it bleed when he first attacked her.

Hermione twisted her face away and let out a shrill yell as he didn't let go of her skin, he kept biting down on it, grabbing her wrists and pining them against the wall when she tried to push him away.

"You can't do this to me!" She cried, it wasn't fair! It wasn't fair!

"And why not? I've done it before" he stated, releasing her flesh from his mouth.

Hermione didn't know what to say. She didn't know.

Here she stood crying in front of him, begging to be left alone, hurt. He had already destroyed her, wasn't that enough?!

"Why wont you leave me alone?" She whimpered, vaguely wondering why no one had come to her aid.

"Why should I? You're mine to do with whatever I wish" he simply stated, his tongue tracing her collar bone where he had bit.

"No! No! Why can't you get off me! Get off! Get off!" She sobbed, all she wanted was peace. She wanted peace again.

"But I don't want to" he said back, tilting her head up with his finger, and inhaling the scent of her hair.

"So pure. You look like us. Yet, you're so tarnished, because you aren't like us" he murmured, pressing his lips to her hair.

"I'm human! I am human! Just like you! Why wont you leave me alone?! I'm human!" She sobbed out, trying to shove him again.

"No, you're not! How dare you compare us!" He snarled, biting her again. He suddenly let her go. his hands slid down her sides slowly.

"I'll be back" he said threateningly, leaving Hermione cowering against the wall.

She slowly slid down the stone wall and began to cry. '_Why wont he leave me alone? He isn't going to leave me alone! I have to make him leave me alone'_

Hermione was so tired of crying, so tired of only feeling fear and panic, she wanted to be strong. She wanted to be stronger than she was.

She quickly got on her feet, biting her lower lip she ran into the library. a safe haven like no other. her peaceful place, the last place she had.

Hermione had read somewhere that sometimes victims became attached to their attackers. she knew she wasn't like that. she shook at the very thought of Malfoy. she wanted to claw off her very own skin when she was reminded that he touched her. Her throat would constrict, she couldn't breath. she was crying.

When the outside world saw Hermione they could tell right away there was a problem. Her eyes were always red and puffy, purple bruises beneath them. once acclaimed the bravest girl in Hogwarts, she looked frightened by her very shadow. that's what Hermione Granger had become, A shadow of herself and no one knew why. Almost no one.

* * *

so the tidbit about Rape, i read in my psychology class that sometimes Women become emotionally attached with their rapist, especially if they know them. it's that from the perspective of being the victim, they sympathize with other victims, they can see the victim in their attacker.

I know it's an extremely sensitive subject, but i wanted you guys to understand where Hermione got her perspective on Malfoy, and why.


End file.
